


Away In A Manger

by Barkour



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Baby Fic, F/M, Future Fic, Gen, The Antichrist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-08 01:03:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6832507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barkour/pseuds/Barkour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remarkably, the antichrist was born in possession of an even temperament.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Away In A Manger

**Author's Note:**

> This is silly.

Chloe said, "Stop holding Sam over your head and laughing."

"Ha ha!" said Lucifer, holding Sam over his head and laughing. "Take that, Daddy dearest! Look what I've made!"

"And the nine months I carried him," said Chloe, "those don't count?"

Lucifer brought baby Samuel down, tucked to his chest. "Of course they count." He slithered over to Chloe on the couch and rested his head on top of hers. "Nine wonderful, exciting, bewildering months unlike anything I've ever known. Oh, the shouting! The cravings! Your libido!"

"You're squishing me," Trixie complained from between them.

Samuel, who was three days old and swaddled as if on an arctic trek, grumbled in Lucifer's inexpert arms. Like a hound, Chloe alerted.

"Let me hold him."

"It isn't fair," he said as he handed Samuel over to the sainted mother, "he's going to bond so quickly with you, and I'll be playing the catch-up game for years after."

"You're still squishing me," said Trixie. 

"I thought you didn't like kids," said Chloe, eyes lidded with her terrible, dark amusements. 

"Yes, they're awful, screaming monsters," said Lucifer, with a loving pat to Trixie's head, "but Samuel's of my own brood."

Trixie had tired of sitting wedged in the midst of this outpouring of familial love and now shoved her way out. 

"What's a brood? Like bugs?"

"Mine is a divine lineage," said Lucifer, "so: hardly. Brooding is what your vigilante billionaires do."

"Yeah," said Chloe, quite serious. She'd undone the front of her blouse to slip fussing Samuel to her breast. "Lucifer sulks."

"Are you looking at her boobs?"

"I'm not looking at Detective Decker's voluptous breasts," said Lucifer.

"You're looking at her boobs," said Trixie.

"Stop looking at my boobs, Lucifer," said Chloe, "stop sexualizing my body. Breasts are for feeding children."

His gaze dropped to Samuel, that horrid, wrinkled, new-fleshed babe with the dark hair and the dark eyes. He'd come out the womb wrapped in his caul and screamed till Lucifer plucked him out the doctor's arms and given him over to Chloe. The child had been a relief after the hours of Chloe swearing and crying from the pain.

"I am sorry," Lucifer told her now. "If I'd known eating from the apple would cause you so much pain..."

"Apples didn't make childbirth painful," said Chloe. "You did that, baby booger." Gently she flicked Samuel's tiny nose.

"You will not call the antichrist baby booger!" said Lucifer.

"My baby booger boy," said Chloe with the satisfaction of a woman determined to drive Lucifer mad from vexation.

"I think he pooped," said Trixie. She moved with astonishing speed from the couch. "Not dibs!"

"Oh, I'll do it," said Lucifer. 

Chloe and Trixie both stared at him.

"I'm an active and supportive father," Lucifer told them coldly, then he grinned at the ceiling. "Ha! Oh, that must sting, Dad!"

"Ugh," said Chloe, "why did I let you talk me into this?"

"As I recall it," said Lucifer, "this is a miracle that proved too much for simple birth control."

"No, I meant sex."

He slicked his arm over her shoulder and smiled sleekly at her.

"Oh, darling, that was all you."

Chloe arched an eyebrow at an angle that complemented the hawkish narrowing of her eyes. He smiled even more sleekly.

"Stop being gross!" said Trixie. "There's a _baby_." She flounced off to her room, there presumably safe from being assigned diaper duty should Chloe deem it good for Trixie's development.

Samuel sighed at Chloe's breast. Then he farted. Chloe patted his tiny back and the harbinger of the coming world flexed his likewise tiny fingers on her skin. A very peculiar and self-satisfied sort of warmth flooded Lucifer. 

"I will give Trixie a thousand kingdoms," Lucifer promised Chloe.

"She doesn't need them," Chloe said. "You saw what she did to that ant farm."

"And it brimmed with bureaucratic potential," said Lucifer.

Chloe studied him. "That antichrist stuff..."

"Oh, a joke." He waved his hand at her. Then, with a sudden shyness, he touched the back of a finger to Samuel's ruddy cheek. A faint rash, some reaction to the air of a new environment, pebbled the baby's skin. 

"Samuel will be free to choose his own path in life," said Lucifer.

Chloe nodded. "He's going to be a cop, like me."

"Heaven forbid," said Lucifer. He laughed again.


End file.
